Adventures in the Grocery Store

   You know you’ve been too busy when you haven’t gotten to Wegmans for a month. 

   

   It’s pathetic really….and then when you do go, you feel like an old lady, forgetting where the bread is.

  

   What should have been a quick 15-minute trip there yesterday, ended up being an hour-long excursion of aimless wandering, as I trekked through the labyrinth of aisles for Spanish rice and marshmallows.  

   You’d think the big marked signs would help. But what they don’t you tell is where stuff like Guacamole mix is. I guess you’re supposed to infer that it’s in the Refried Beans aisle but seriously, who has time to think that through?

   The produce section is the worst though because there’s no signs whatsoever for guidance. If there was ever a time I wanted a huge, ugly piece of poster board broadcasting “BROCCOLI HERE”, it was yesterday.
   But no, I had to wander through the entire section like a dazed tourist in a museum, cocking her head in every direction, surveying the breathtaking view of carrots and beets, while desperately trying to locate my object.

   I found the broccoli eventually, but when the same thing happened with the avocados, my frustration mounted. So I choked down my pride and decided to just ask an employee. I was not roaming that place any more.

   “Avocados? Yeah, they’re right behind you, miss.”, was the answer I got.

   Oh, you mean those two gigantic bins stuffed to the brim with them that I’ve been walking past for the last half hour? Awesome.

   Of course, they had three different types of them so I called my mom to see which ones she wanted. But there was no answer. So no doubt the guy was amused when I walked away without getting any, mumbling “Like I know which kind she wants.”

   

   I’m usually with someone whenever I grocery shop, so to make it more efficient, we split up to opposite sides of the store. Except it really doesn’t save time, because we always forget to designate a spot to meet up, and just set out on a wild goose chase. Plus, you can’t get cell service in the back of the store so that rules out that idea.

   Once my mom sent me off to get something in the store when I was younger and forgot to tell me where she was gonna be. After 20 minutes of looking for each other, she decided to just have my name paged over the loud speaker to come up to the front desk.
   They even added at the end, "Your mom is looking for you."
   Talk about humiliating… I would have rather kept drifting around lost than endure that embarrassment.

   The other thing I love about grocery shopping is when you walk up to a cash register with two half-gallon containers of ice cream, a dozen donuts, a jumbo Hershey’s bar…and a bag of salad. And the young guy just kinda smiles at you…

   Hey, you know, just trying to balance out my diet a little.

   Well, that’s it for my grocery store rants.

   

   I really shouldn’t complain, because I’ve heard some areas don’t even have Wegmans, and to me that’s about the worst catastrophe and deprivation you can have, so I’ll put up with the slight inconvenience of getting lost, or not finding an item for a few hours. 

In any case, happy shopping!