That Loathsome Time of Day

     I am not a morning person.

   It takes me a good half hour to actually communicate beyond grunting. But I think I'm not the only one who doesn't always enjoy that lovely little process called getting up.

   It begins at the time of night when all the world is bliss.

   

   It’s dark, quiet, peaceful.

   

   After hours of restlessness and discomfort, your body has finally reached the perfect temperature and position.

   

   You’re sleeping soundly at last and in the middle of an absolutely incredible dream: a heart-warming romance, an exhilarating adventure, a Broadway show in which you’re the star, etc.

   

   You’re practically bursting with excitement as your big moment comes.

   

   Then it happens.

   

   Just as you’re about to become president, sing a show-shopping number, or walk down the aisle, a far-off honking sound slowly starts to become pronounced in the scene. You brush it off, thinking it just an off-key instrument in the band.

   

   But it grows so loud that you are finally forced to open your eyes and partially come back to consciousness, startled at the sudden disruption of your paradise.

   You look around you and all the excitement is shattered. 

   

   You realize to your horror the only thing true about your dream is the blaring noise you heard…and it’s coming from within 5 inches of your face, from that demonic device appropriately named “Alarm clock”.

   It’s no wonder heart disease is the number one cause of deaths in the U.S.; we all begin each morning with a heart attack.

   You mutter every possible insult  you can think  of  to it, while you sleep-crawl over to turn the darn thing off.

   You lay back down after the difficult job and begin the method of “compromising”. Meaning the thought process on how many morning routines you can cut out to allow more time in bed. 

   “I don’t really need a shower today, I took one yesterday. That gives me 15 more minutes.”

   “I’ll just wear what I’ve worn for the past 3 days. No one cares.  There’s 5 more minutes.”

   “Heck, I don’t need to wait for toast, I’ll just eat it cold with peanut butter. Okay 7 more minutes.”

   “I’ll buy a cup of coffee instead of making it. 3 more minutes.”

   It’s amazing what you can economize on when the question of more sleep is involved.

   

   Finally, after a good extra 25 minutes in bed, you literally heave yourself out and stumble like you're drunk into the day.

   Thus begins a beautiful new day and no one ever knows what a rollercoaster of emotion you went through that morning.

   If somehow you have a way of miraculously overcoming this dreadful occurrence, let me know.  But until then, just do me a favor and don't schedule anyone for early morning appointments...it makes the inevitable task a hundred times harder.  

"Summer days are gone too soon..."

   
   So I start school on Monday. 

   Yeah.

   Just kill me now. 

   I'm not ready in the least sense of the word.
 
   But instead of making this a depressing post,  I'm gonna force myself to look on the bright side and remember all the good things that happened this summer. Or do as Dr. Suess says:

   So here's some random moments and lovely things of this summer that I thought I'd share:

1. Starting this blog.
2. Car rides with friends, with the windows rolled down, hair blowing, and screaming out lyrics to "Classic".
3. Bonfires (especially late night ones on the lake under the stars).
4.  Picking up my ukelele after a year of not playing it.
5. Going tubing and jet skiing for the first time.
6. Watching a LOT of new chick flicks...I'm a little obsessed haha.
7. Getting back into ballroom dancing and the wonderful exhaustion that comes after it.
8. Late-night grocery store runs with the sis (I think we scared everyone out of there).
9. Learning to shoot a gun (most terrifying thing you'll ever see).
10. Figuring out how to make my own vanilla lattes for the times when I can't get out to Starbucks. And having them actually taste good.
11. "Helping" my sister and best friend take the ALS ice bucket challenge (a.k.a. dumping it on them). It brought me so much satisfaction.

   Although I'm saying adieu to summer, just recalling the memories of it helps soften the blow.

   If you're going back to school soon, then I'd suggest doing this too.

   And if you aren't going back for a few more weeks, well I don't like you. 

Anyway, hope that inspires you to get out there and make the most of the last bit of summer!

The Closest I've Gotten to Death

   I love running. I run all the time: racing to the fridge, sprinting after the ice cream truck, jumping in a departing van, bolting upstairs to avoid unexpected guests, etc, etc. You might wonder how I came to be such a devoted runner, with all of my stamina and agility. Well, I can only give credit to the inspirational (homeschooler) group by the name of  "Running Club"; a distinguished society focused on instilling a passion for self-torture and shin splints.

   Every year my friend and I signed up for the club with the intent of getting some Phys Ed, and hoped that we might even end up enjoying it. But every year, on the first day, we'd step onto the Towpath of Hell, look at each other, and ask, "Why are we here?"

   It was during these sessions of bliss that I discovered what I was really created to be... and it wasn't a runner.

   That first year, we thought that the teacher's beginner method of two minute walking-running intervals was pathetic... until we got thirty seconds in and were near passing out. It didn't get much better with time, although we did manage to get a mile once (with every ounce of will-power we could muster). You know it's bad when your greatest wish is to jump into the murky, debris-littered waters of the canal beside you. 

   Everyone else appeared to gain something from the arduous workout, but somehow, even though we were the slowest ones, we seemed to be the only kids suffering from dehydration, exhaustion, cramps, heat stroke, and intense pain. I wish we could say that crossing the finish line made it all worthwhile, but somehow the urge to puke kind of distracted from the celebration. But hey, at least there were snacks afterwards. Sometimes I think that's the only reason we kept signing up.

   This pretty much sums up my running career:

   So take this as a warning. If you ever see me running again, you should run too, cause there's probably something chasing me.

Sarcasm 101

   Many people don't get sarcasm, and honestly, I genuinely feel bad for them. 

   It's like a second language to me. The clean, funny type I mean. Obviously people can take it too far, but I think a little crash course on "Sarcasm as an Art Form" would be very beneficial to the general public.

  Here are some examples of sarcasm done well that could be included in it:

 

 

 

 
   If you laughed at these, congratulations. That's the first step to being inducted into the: 

   Have a horrible day. :)


 

Crêpes, Coffee, and Class

Saturday mornin' and the livin' is easy...

   Yes I know it looks like I’m a foodie, but my mom made us all fresh blueberry crêpes and hazelnut coffee this morning and it was such a good start to the day. I wish I could say I made them, but you know how that would turn out.

   In other news, I’ve been doing a lot of ballroom dancing lately, taking some classes with friends and going to a few ballroom social dances. I love it so much that I'm trying to convince all my friends to get into it. Once you learn a few fancy steps in waltz or cha-cha, there’s no turning back…you’re hooked. There’s nothing like the exhilarating feeling of twirling around the dance floor with a good partner. It’s such fun but can also be romantic (not to mention good exercise!)

   Dancing to old Frank Sinatra tunes and watching the 1954 movie "Sabrina" has rekindled my love for that era. The big band music, the classy outfits, the popularity of ballroom dancing...sometimes I wish we could go back to all that.

   Which is part of the reason my favorite song right now is "Classic" by MKTO.

   And, of course, it's also part of the reason I love old movies and TV shows. Some Like It Hot, Singing in the Rain, White Christmas, I Love Lucy, Dick van Dyke, Andy Griffith, you name it. The combination of good clean humor, fun music, and amazing dance sequences make them great family movie night choices.
 
   I'll leave you with a quote from Audrey Hepburn:
 

    Happy Saturday!

The Poetic Genius of a Blonde

   I guess you could say the right side of my brain is more dominant than the left. Meaning I stink less at English than Math.


   But when it comes to poetry, forget it. I've never had a knack for double meanings, deep symbolism, clever pithiness, and that sort of thing. So I just write short, meaningless verses for the fun of it.


   Here are a few gems I found from school projects of the past, all from ages 8 to 12. They're too good not to share.


   Polly
 
  There once was a girl named Molly
   Who owned a pet bird named Polly
   Polly bit off her hand,
   Flew to a land,
   And left a one-handed Molly.

   Colors

   Blue is the sky that sometimes is gray.
   Red is the rose that appears in May.
   Green is the trees that sway in the breeze.
   Yellow is pollen that makes me sneeze.

   What Is Me

   Kicking, twirling, running, jumping,
   Blowing into a flute.
   Leaping, sleeping, eating, reading are all what I like to do.
   Singing at church, though I don’t prefer it, is what I do to learn.
   Every day schoolwork finds me and I have to go through
   That torture in order to “nurture my mind”.
   But when at last my day is done,
   I thank God for my torture or fun,
   Either one is a blessing
   And I thank Him for my lessons.

   A Mess

   I whipped my clothes in a heap
   But my cell phone started to beep
   So I grabbed it, but I knocked
   Over a basket of socks.
   And now the room is in a deep.

   Another Color Poem

   What is green? The grass is green
   By the pesticides not seen.
   What is yellow? The sun is yellow
   Melting all the snow below.

   A Haiku
   Looking for my keys,
   Instead I found my lipstick.
   I look good locked out.

  
   Don't be surprised when my name appears right up there with Emily Dickinson! :)